So so sad!

Life is fragile. A trite cliche until you witness it firsthand. By all accounts Josh was a wonderful happy BYU-I student brimming with promise. He had served a mission in Chile, the same country my son served in years earlier. On Valentines Day Joshua, his girlfriend and another friend were heading home from college for the long weekend. But he didn't make it.

We were going to Orem to visit family. The roads were slushy. Near Willard on I-15 an accident had just happened and we saw two cars pulling off onto the shoulder. My husband wanting to be sure everyone was all right also pulled over. The two drivers got out to check out the damage to their cars and exchange information most likely. As my husband walked toward the young men, a car slid out of control hitting the two men.

I won't describe what happened next. But even as I try to type this five days later, my hands tremble, my heart pounds, and my eyes tear up. Ever since being a parent, I've had a recurring nightmare of something terrifying happening and me trying to call 911 but not being able to do it. But as soon as I saw the horrific events my daughter and I jumped out of our car and ran to the scene. I wasn't aware of grabbing my cell phone, but there it was in my hand and I automatically called 911. My daughter too immediately called 911. I'm sure there were others who quickly called from their cars. Within minutes several cars had stopped. The emergency vehicles took too long to get there, but it wouldn't have mattered for Joshua. He really didn't have a chance. The other man was 31, and we haven't heard how he was doing, but he fared much better.

I'll be forever connected to Joshua DiScuillo although I didn't know him. Witnessing someone's final conscious acts on earth can do that. I wish more than anything that the accident hadn't happened. It isn't lost on me that a few feet or a few seconds difference and my husband might have been killed. But then a few seconds or a few feet difference and the car would have missed Joshua as well and everyone else. It was an unbelievable, unimaginable moment of standing in the wrong place at the wrong time. If, if, if, and why, why, why? Why him and why now?

I've thought a lot about life and death since the event. I know I won't ever be quite the same. As I tried to hug and comfort those standing at the scene who were obviously traumatized there was Josh's girlfriend huddled with another friend. They spoke in another language to each other--so I don't know what they were saying, but I can imagine the desperate prayers offered. A lone woman with a long coat trembled and cried as I hugged her. I heard her talking to someone and realized she was speaking in a bluetooth. She frantically described her car spinning out of control to an unknown person on the other end. She was the woman who had hit the young men. I can't imagine what she must be going through. The newspaper article said she was treated for shock. I hope she finds peace to continue with her life.

For those who were friends and family of Joshua DiScuillo, I offer my deepest love, my most heartfelt sympathy, and pray that you might find the comfort to go forward, always remembering your son, your brother, and your friend with warmth and fondness. But I hope that you can move forward and be happy. I have a feeling Joshua would have wanted that.

Overlooked or Underrated

I just finished an amazing novel "Bound on Earth" by Angela Hallstrom. This book has a literary flair without bogging the reader down. Angela follows a cast of characters throughout their lives with interconnected stories. A few years ago I read the "The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint" by Brady Udall. I love Brady's writing, but you kind of have to go through the mind of a man whose obsessed with sex, which let's face it--might be all of them, but it gets a little old. Angela's book doesn't do that. It has Mormon characters, but again isn't bogged down by trying to attach messages. In this way the book reminds me of Chaim Potok. I expect great things from Angela in the future. She's won some well-deserved awards.

Another book that I read a few years ago which is excellent and which hasn't received the attention it deserves is Arianne Cope's "The Coming of Elijah" which won the Marilyn Brown award a few years back. Arianne is young and has so much talent everything she puts to paper sings. Her writing makes me think of Barbara Kingsolver, one of my favorite writers. I can't wait to see what Arianne will come up with next.

One more book that came out in 2007, won some awards, but has been overlooked is Logan writer Janet Kay Jensen's "Don't You Marry the Mormon Boys" named after a Mormon folksong. This book brings together two clashing cultures mainstream Mormonism with Fundamentalist polygamists. I would say this book also is somewhat literary. It asks more from the reader than many of the fast-paced LDS suspense novels, but is well worth the effort. Janet is an excellent emerging novelist.

Two movies worth shouting about are: "Lars and the Real Girl." Honestly I think this might be one of my all-time favorite movies. I've seen it twice now and then went out and bought it. It's an independent film. Some indies are too artsy and you end up watching the whole thing and saying, what the heck? Not this show. It's the sweetest movie I've ever seen without being sappy.

One that came out some time back is Saint Ralph--another gem. This one is PG13 for some masturbation scenes, which since the main character is 14 is probably apropos, but still for those sensitive be fore-warmed. This movie is charming, sweet, well-done, and has a great message. Ralph's father is dead, his mother is in the hospital in a coma and he is going to a strict Catholic school. He needs a miracle and is convinced that if he wins the Boston marathon his mother will wake up.

A television series we've enjoyed which I heard will be canceled is Eli Stone. If it isn't too late check it out. It's about an attorney with a conscience because he has visions due to a brain aneurysm. It has a lot of guest stars, like Sting and Natlie Portman. My husband and I also love Chuck and Pushing Daisies.

"Her Good Name"

One of the side benefits of writing books is that I've become friends with some really cool people. One of those very cool people is Josi S. Kilpack who lives in a nearby small town. Small town people already have a connection. There's an unspoken understanding of what it's like to be able to mail a package without standing in line, to have people wave because they recognize your car--when I got a new car it took me a while to figure out that people weren't suddenly snubbing me, they were snubbing the car. And to know that most people are related, so it's best to keep your mouth shut if you're thinking about passing along some gossip. But with Josi, it's more than that conncection. She's just one of those people. You know, the kind of people you want to hang with--for the rest of your life if possible.

Josi is really a busy though. So hanging out with her for a day is difficult, let alone for the rest of your life. But there's a really easy way that everyone gets to spend time with her. And that's through her books. Picking up a book of Josi's is seriously like having her be your best friend for the afternoon. The kind of books I like to read are the ones where I feel like I could go shopping with the character and know what they would pick out to buy--take Chrissy, the main character in Her Good Name. She buys bright clothing that accentuates her cute figure, loves high heels--all different kinds--even knows the names of the types of heel, which right there says we wouldn't be friends, but she is frugal and hardworking and knows how to get a good deal. She is tough, says what she thinks, but is compassionate when it comes to the people she loves. Chrissy is proud of her Mexican-American heritage, but refuses to let people see her as a stereotype. I like Chrissy. That's why I got involved with the story when her identity is stolen and the other person gets into all sorts of trouble that messes up the real Chressaidia's life and she has to take action in a big way.

I was lucky enough to read "Her Good Name" before it actually came out in print. I highly recommend Josi's books. They really do capture your interest from the first page, gives you a bunch of new friends to hang with for a few days and even think about for long afterward. Josi is good at having each book be about something more than suspense or romance. This book brings identity theft to the forefront and includes information at the end on how to avoid becoming a victim, but the information doesn't intrude on the story.

Josi has a new book coming out in the spring. The next book proves to be a lot of fun. I've only read a chapter or two of the next one, so it will hold more surprises for me than this one did. It is a culinary mystery!

Christmas 2008

Icicles on our house showing how the winds blows.
Beautiful babies on Christmas morning. And finally me with my nephew's wife at the family party.

Mormon Bishops

My dad was a bishop. Most of the people who read my blog are LDS, but there are a few who aren't and may not quite understand the role of bishop in the typical LDS ward. They are sometimes called the father of the ward. Like fathers, they do a lot for the people they serve--without a whole lot in return. Bishops donate oodles amount of time to the community they've been called to preside over. They should be spiritual, compassionate, organized, a good leader, a good teacher, a model father and husband, a friend to the youth, kind to children. Well you get the idea. They should be about everything good--and nothing bad. Being the child of a bishop was a little bit of a pain in the neck, because if I was a smart alec in Sunday School, the teacher would pull me aside and remind me that I should be setting an example. I should've reminded the teacher that my dad was a smart alec too, so I came by it naturally, but I didn't. Usually, I just said I would try to do better, but I said it with a scowl and roll of my eyes--or a smirk.

Since that time, I've had at least a dozen bishops. In varying degrees, I've liked all of my bishops. Some I've known very well since my husband often served in the bishopric with them, well about six times, he's been in a bishopric. A bishopric consists of about 6 men who are counselors and clerks who help the bishop, but ultimately the responsibility of the entire ward of several hundred people lies squarely on the bishop's shoulders. The others can only do so much. I've worked closely with a few bishops in some of my own callings. Without exception, these bishops I grew to respect.

In Grouse Creek, our bishops wore cowboy boots, big buckles, and had an obvious tan line, typical of ranchers who wears hats and work outdoors. We've had bishops who drove school buses, farmed, taught, ran businesses and so forth. They can come from all walks of life. So where am I going with all of this? Bishops often set the personality of a ward. I'm in a new ward. Adjusting to a new ward is a challenge. For many of the years we've been in Paradise, we've been in the same ward and have made a lot of friends. I've been in a bit of a funk in our new ward. I feel a bit invisible, and even unloved. This is no ones fault, well except maybe mine. People are nice enough, but they don't know me. However, Mick and I are both happy with our new bishop. Yeah, we know it doesn't make any difference in whether or not the church is true, but we think he's pretty cool. Here's a picture of him with his family---trick or treating at our house. See?

The Power of the Individual

For anyone who has stopped believing in the human spirit, the joy of service, and the power of the individual this book is for you. Or even if you believe in all that and want a good reminder of how it is done, then this book, "Three Cups of Tea" delivers.
Basically, in 1992 Greg Mortenson failed in his attempt to climb to the top of K-2. Exhausted, he stumbled into a small remote Pakastani village, where he was taken care of. He was surprised and shocked to find out that kids gathered for school in the open air and studied without a teacher. The village couldn't afford to pay 1.00 a day to hire one. He promised to return and build a school. In an effort to rasie the funds, and without any knowledge of even the basic functions of a computer, he wrote to hundreds of rich people and celebrities and only received 100.00 for his efforts. He sold all that he had and made a little over two-thousand. He needed 12,000. This story tells how with that beyond meager beginnings, he eventually was able to build nearly 80 schools and is still going strong. He learned the customs and traditions, worked with the people to accomplish unsurmountable odds. It really is a thrilling adventure and one everyone should read.

One thing that stood out to me, is Mortenson's belief that educating a girl is the way to change society. By educating a girl, you educate a family, and a village . . . and so on. His schools now are mostly built for girls.

The title of the book comes from this great line. "Here (in Pakistan and Afghanistan) we drink three cups of tea to do buisiness; the first you are a stragner, the second you become a friend, and third, you join our family, and for our family we are prepared to do anything--even die."
Haji Ali, Korphe Village Chief, Karakoram Mountains, Pakistan

If there were more people like Greg Mortenson, then peace could be more than a dream.

Consequences

There aren't many photographs of my growing up years. The story is that every time anyone got the camera out, I stomped my feet and started to cry. The consequences are that the record of my life is sparse. This was one of my favorite photos of me. I look happy, my brother is laughing at me, and I thought the plant in the background was my hair. I loved that my hair stuck straight up!!!

This week I learned some more about consequences. The local newspaper doesn't like being told they "caved in." (see previous blog) I received no less than three less than friendly phone calls from the managing editor of the Herald Journal. It's clear that he believes bullying people who criticize them is the best way to do business. I was not prepared for the unprofessional confrontational tone the editor took with me. Somehow, I wrongly assumed that a newspaper would be used to criticism, after all they certainly make their living publishing the faults of others.
I still stand by everything I wrote. And for those of you not in the area, the letter. with a few word changes to satisfy the legal department was published last Wednesday. My letter to the editor was purposely disabled from access in the online edition. Yes, every other letter of the week was there, but not mine. After a phone call from a citizen and some emails, the letter is now available.
Numerous people have told me thanks for writing the letter. There are people who are continuing the cause of helping Mayor Atwood. There are people who are ready to keep digging until the truth is found out and justice is served. I like to hope that my letter might have stirred some action.