Thursday, February 19, 2009

So so sad!

Life is fragile. A trite cliche until you witness it firsthand. By all accounts Josh was a wonderful happy BYU-I student brimming with promise. He had served a mission in Chile, the same country my son served in years earlier. On Valentines Day Joshua, his girlfriend and another friend were heading home from college for the long weekend. But he didn't make it.

We were going to Orem to visit family. The roads were slushy. Near Willard on I-15 an accident had just happened and we saw two cars pulling off onto the shoulder. My husband wanting to be sure everyone was all right also pulled over. The two drivers got out to check out the damage to their cars and exchange information most likely. As my husband walked toward the young men, a car slid out of control hitting the two men.

I won't describe what happened next. But even as I try to type this five days later, my hands tremble, my heart pounds, and my eyes tear up. Ever since being a parent, I've had a recurring nightmare of something terrifying happening and me trying to call 911 but not being able to do it. But as soon as I saw the horrific events my daughter and I jumped out of our car and ran to the scene. I wasn't aware of grabbing my cell phone, but there it was in my hand and I automatically called 911. My daughter too immediately called 911. I'm sure there were others who quickly called from their cars. Within minutes several cars had stopped. The emergency vehicles took too long to get there, but it wouldn't have mattered for Joshua. He really didn't have a chance. The other man was 31, and we haven't heard how he was doing, but he fared much better.

I'll be forever connected to Joshua DiScuillo although I didn't know him. Witnessing someone's final conscious acts on earth can do that. I wish more than anything that the accident hadn't happened. It isn't lost on me that a few feet or a few seconds difference and my husband might have been killed. But then a few seconds or a few feet difference and the car would have missed Joshua as well and everyone else. It was an unbelievable, unimaginable moment of standing in the wrong place at the wrong time. If, if, if, and why, why, why? Why him and why now?

I've thought a lot about life and death since the event. I know I won't ever be quite the same. As I tried to hug and comfort those standing at the scene who were obviously traumatized there was Josh's girlfriend huddled with another friend. They spoke in another language to each other--so I don't know what they were saying, but I can imagine the desperate prayers offered. A lone woman with a long coat trembled and cried as I hugged her. I heard her talking to someone and realized she was speaking in a bluetooth. She frantically described her car spinning out of control to an unknown person on the other end. She was the woman who had hit the young men. I can't imagine what she must be going through. The newspaper article said she was treated for shock. I hope she finds peace to continue with her life.

For those who were friends and family of Joshua DiScuillo, I offer my deepest love, my most heartfelt sympathy, and pray that you might find the comfort to go forward, always remembering your son, your brother, and your friend with warmth and fondness. But I hope that you can move forward and be happy. I have a feeling Joshua would have wanted that.


The Fullmers said...

My heart goes out to you as you have witnessed such a tragic final act to someone who was so young. I too have watched the final moments of a life and it does change your perspective of life and death and the narrow thread that binds us to this life. Much love and sympathy to you,
Moana Fullmer

Mama McKinley said...

Carole, my friend stumbled across this post in your blog and sent me the link. I am sobbing as I read this post because my sister was the one that hit Joshua. She was and still is absolutely devastated by what happened that day. She and her family (and extended family even) are all mourning the loss of such a great young man, and feel heartsick for his family. I want to thank you SO much for being kind to my sister that day. She told us that there was a very kind woman there that came up to her and gave her a hug, and another that let her use her phone (I assume it was your daughter). It meant SO, SO much to her, and she said she was in such shock that she had no idea who it was or where she came from. You (and your daughter) were angels that were sent to help her that day. Thank you for your kindess!

Like you, I hope so much that Joshua's family and my sister can someday find the peace that they need to continue on.

Mama McKinley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Josi said...

I'm so sorry this happened, Carole, but it sounds like you were a light among darkness at this momenet. You hear things on the news all the time and it's easy to feel like it's just numbers, to have a first hand account makes it a very different experience. I hope that healing and faith can come to all of those involved. We weren't very far away--on our way to Ogden at this time. Scary how close things can become in this small world in which we live.

Carole Thayne Warburton said...

Thanks people for leaving kind words of sympathy. Thanks especially Mamma McKinley for the reminder of your sister's agony. It's my wish that everyone reading this blog will take a moment to pray for her, as well as Joshua's family and friends.

LDS Ponderings said...

I am so sorry about what happened.

Anonymous said...

Hello, Carole, thank you for remembering my brother Joshua in this post. My family and I are beyond devastated. We were really close. Josh was truly one of those people who everyone liked, a peacemaker. I never met a single person who disliked him. He had a great laugh, a great smile (as you probably saw in his picture), and was super quirky. He was two years younger than I (I am the oldest of the DiScuillo kids), and my best friend. He is so loved by all of us and his friends. Thank you again, for remembering him here.
Josh's sister, Aileen

Amber Lynn Argyle said...

So sad! It makes me want to hug my boys. I can't imagine going through that. Though both my mother and father have been first on the scene to more than one fatal accident. It changed both of them forever.