"I'm a liar" tagging

Being friends with Josi Kilpack is starting to be a lot of work, but so far I'm willing to put up with it because she is worth it. Notice I put so far--this is about the umpteenth time she's tagged me for one of these games. I love playing them, but have a hard time tagging someone else. Remember friendship bread? It's really yummy stuff, but before you bake the bread, you take out some of the batter. You do weird things to it to keep it alive, like squish it, add things to it, and say a prayer over it--well I'm not sure about that one. Eventually you'd then pass the culture on to someone else that you're are supposed to "care" about, but truly it got to where I didn't know who to give the culture to that wouldn't hate me forever for doing it. I feel that way about tagging. While I'm flattered someone would think of me, and I love to blather on about myself , I'm not sure everyone loves to play so I have a hard time coming up with friends to tag.

So blogging friends, if you read this, yeah I still want to play, but give me a list or something of folks who want to be tagged.

Back to the game. You're supposed to tell four stories, one of which is a lie, and let readers guess which is the lie. I've decided to alter the game only slightly. I'm going to tell four embarrassing moments in my life. I embarrass myself frequently so this should be easy. Josi made hers into a contest, so I will as well. Since not too many of you read my blog, your chances of winning are pretty great. And since I don't have that many books of mine (they are currently out-of-print, they are precious. Anyway guess which one is the lie and I will draw from those. We'll give it a week, which is about November 7th.

#1 When I was in fourth grade at Sharon Elementary in Orem, I climbed a fence to go after a fly ball when our class was playing softball. I was wearing a paisley patterned dress with a bow and a wide collar. After retrieving the ball, I climbed back, but got hung up on the high fence. I basically hung there for all the world to see my underwear until the dress ripped sufficiently enough to allow me to fall to the ground. I threw the ball in, and the game continued on as if nothing happened.

#2 When I was in Paris at age 21 near Basilique du Sacre Coeur de Montmatre, I was walking down a street. If you've been there you know the street. There were numerous beyond shady businesses dedicated to the sex trade. I mean what they tell you in church is true, some images do stay with you forever. Anyway I'd gotten separated from my friend Rosanna. I'd stopped to ask some guy for directions. I couldn't speak French and he couldn't speak English, and I found myself being led by force into one of the shops to engage in who knows what. I ended up literally pulling away from him and running. I found my friend a block later who by this time was talking to a member of the French police and trying to explain that her friend had disappeared into one of the places of ill-repute. When I recovered, and she recovered we shared a pastry and laughed so hard my sides ached.

#3 When I was around twenty, I went for a hike to the top of Mount Timpanogas. This is not to be confused with the Timp Cave trail. To the top of the mountain is something like nine miles. Anyway, basically I'd gone up the Timpanookee trail and then slid down the glacial field to the gorgeous Emerald Lake. Back in those days Emerald Lake had a shelter at it with an outhouse in the back. Okay, well I thought the door to the outhouse was the door into the shelter and I followed some guy through the door. I stood right behind the guy and wondered why he was so slow in moving forward. I didn't realize that I was standing directly behind him while he peed until I heard the tinkling noise. I backed out the door and tried to quickly disappear among the hikers. Well he saw me and called me a pervert.

#4 About 15 years ago, we hadn't lived in Paradise for all that long. Anyway in the middle of June, I was on my way home after cleaning up my pottery from Logan's famous Summerfest Art Fest. It was late at night and as I passed a farm in town I saw smoke. I saw someone pulled off the road and they too thought the hay and barn was on fire. I quickly went home and called the fire department and then dragged my husband over to the fire to see if we could help the owners whom we knew. We drove up the lane and then at least six fire trucks came in behind us. Firefighters jumped out ready to fight the fire and also effectively blocked us from leaving. To make a long story short. There was no fire! But we had to sit there while the firefighters figured this out and complained about it. I watched as the other guy (who thought it was on fire) disappeared and didn't have to face the humiliation. Well the next day at church someone came up to me and said, "We'll try and let you know, next time we have a barbeque."

Okay, well I'm tagging Stephanie Humphreys, at Write Bravely.
And Julie Wright. Her link is on my list to the side. This really is a fun one to write. I hope you enjoy.

Hurrah for the Whitney Awards

I've mentioned the Whitney awards before. This is an award given for LDS fiction books published this year. The exciting thing is that a sponsor has come forward and is offering a cash prize. This will really make this an exciting and prestigious award. Please go to www.whitneyawards.com for more information.

WHITNEY AWARDS COMMITTEE ANNOUNCES LARGE CASH AWARDS

The Whitney Awards Committee announced today that they will be
offering seven large cash awards to be presented at the upcoming
Whitney Awards banquet in March 2008. These cash prizes are due to
the generosity of the Whitney Awards' marquis sponsor,
ExclusivelyLDS.com.

Founded earlier this year, the Whitney Awards program is a non-profit
organization dedicated to rewarding excellence among LDS authors.
With the new sponsorship of ExclusivelyLDS.com, winning authors will
receive up to $1000 along with their trophy.

The Whitneys offer a total of seven awards. The five genre awards
(Best Romance/Women's Fiction, Best Mystery/Suspense, Best
YA/Children's, Best Speculative Fiction, Best Historical) will each
be accompanied by a $500 cash prize. The two overall winners, Best
Novel by a New Author and Best Novel of the Year, will each receive
$1000.

"We're very excited about the sponsorship with ExclusivelyLDS.com,"
Robison Wells, president of the Whitney Awards Committee,
explains. "There is enormous talent among LDS authors, and every
year seems to produce better and better novels. This is an exciting
time to be part of the LDS fiction industry. Our hope is that these
awards will raise awareness about the high quality fiction available
from LDS authors, and to draw in new readers."

Over a hundred years ago, Latter-Day Saint Apostle Orson F. Whitney
declared "We shall yet have Miltons and Shakespeares of our
own. . . . In God's name and by His help we will build up a
literature whose tops will touch the heaven, though its foundation
may now be low on the earth."

Anyone can nominate a novel published during the previous calendar
year in any of seven categories, and a final academy of industry
professionals will vote on the final ballot. Nominations are being
taken for books published in 2007 by LDS authors at the Whitney
Awards website: www.whitneyawards.com

###

CONTACT:
Robison Wells
Whitney Awards President
robisonwells@msn.com
www.whitneyawards.com

This is a little weird . . .

My author friend, Josi Kilpack from What's a Sundial in the Shade tagged me for a fun game. It's what ten characters from literature would you make-out with if you were single? This is a little like a game I've tried to play with my husband in church. It's called, if you had to choose to marry someone in the ward because I died and their spouse died and these are the only people you could choose from game. But even though I tell my husband that I won't be mad or hurt, even if he chooses the obvious most beautiful, perfect woman in the ward, he still won't play with me, which is a pity, because sometimes you just want the time to go faster. I tell other people my husband won't play this really fun game and they almost always say the same thing, "smart man."
So this game is similar, sort of. I read Josi's post and she chose several of her leading male roles from her own books. She said this was cheating, but believe me, it's the only way because where else would you find the most ideal man for yourself than in a book you wrote? Now before I go any further you must know that I'm crazy about my husband--I mean look at him, photo on the right below. He's really cute, don't ya think? But the men in my books would be my first choice for this game. It's just a game after all.

Sam: He's from both of my published books. Shoot, I can't remember Sam's last name and I don't want to go look at my book to find out. Anyway Sam is the perfect male. He's a dark haired, handsome cowboy with manners and a great sense of humor. He's a little on the cocky side, but not too cocky to be lovable. He takes care of everyone around him, rides in rodeos, brand calves, kills the bad guys (well he would if we needed him to) and can kiss well enough to curl your toes (that is if Covenant allowed such kisses.)


Jack Heath: He doesn't make an appearance in my books until "False Pretenses." I love Jack because he's a little on the clueless male side. He means well, but he often falls short. However, he is sweet, tough, and in the end comes through. Oh and he can play a mean guitar. I'm a sucker for a guy with guitar.

Russ Rupert: He comes in the book I'm writing now which doesn't have a name. He's the polar opposite of me, and the female lead in the book. He's a redneck, gun-toting, conservative, well you get the idea, but he's romantic. He's 59 which is closer to the age of a guy I'd be making out with anyway. My own husband is 54.

Jim Chee: Jim is from Tony Hillerman's books and I'm totally in love with him. Jim lives in a trailer out in the middle of nowhere in Arizona. He smart enough to always figure out who the bad guys are, but has a sensitive side too. He loves his Navajo culture and studies to be a medicine man. He almost never gets the girl in the books, which make him vulnerable and attractive.

Sir Lancelot: I read "The Once and Future King" by T.H. White a long time ago and could totally have gotten into the affair thing with Sir Lancelot. I would have repented later though. :)

David Copperfeld: Not the magician, although he's plenty good looking. I'm really reaching here. I've read precious few books with strong male characters that I can remember the names of. I mean really, I can't even remember the name of my own characters, let alone from books I've read years ago, so this one stands out. You have to admit he was pretty great. Dickens came up with wonderful characters.

Otis Spofford: I would have to be in sixth grade or so. That's when I created the Otis Spofford club after Beverly Clearly's bad boy character. Otis did daring things. In my Otis Spofford club you had to sneak down to the basement of Cascade Elementary in Orem Utah, go through the janitor's room or secret chamber if you will and touch the other wall. This wasn't as easy as you would think because in order to do this you had to go in a hall that was off limits to sixth graders, past the kindergarten room, open a door that was certainly off limits and descend a flight of stairs. Man was it scary! I almost forgot about my hero Otis Spofford.

Homer Price: Ditto the above. The only thing I remember for sure is that Homer made a whole bunch of donuts with his incredible donut machine. Who wouldn't want to make out with a boy who had a stack of donuts nearby.

In Annette Lyon's "House on the the Hill" she had a character, his name was Abe. He's not the guy that the lead ended up marrying, but I was rooting for him none the less. I believe she follows him up in one of her later books. I really could've gone for him.

Gilbert from Anne of Green Gables. He was so devoted eventually. Who wouldn't want a man like him in their life?

I'm going to tag Annette Lyon at Lyon's Tale, and Janet Jensen who may not see this for a while, but it will be fun when she gets back. Also Candace Salima.

Saying swear words or swer wrds can be funny

• I've told you I love a good laugh. Recently my dear friend from Diane shared with me this chart her seven year old daughter made to help the family clean up their language. Diane said she didn't have any trouble with swearing until she decided to have a talking to with her teenager sons about their cussing. Since the talk, the words crept into her own language more frequently. Concerned, Abby, her daughter made this chart for the family. On the back she listed the family names and then wisely realized she probably shouldn't include Mom and Dad in the chart so just listed the kids names.

Abby might be on to something here. Maybe a Relief Society Homemaking night could be devoted to making swear word charts complete with tole painted happy and sad faces. Each word could be color-coded for how bad they are. Some women might want to do their chart in counted cross stitch or embroidery. I was impressed that she is such a good speller--the cuss words are all spelled completely right, minus an "n," which let's face it, is a very complicated word indeed. Maybe Abby could go into business making and selling the charts.

In my husband's school class, he's learned to ask questions to the students who tattle on other kids for saying the S word, which is more often than not--shut-up, and the F word, which is more often than not--fart.

Life is good when the innocence of a child can cheer your spirits. Swear word charts and the beautiful fall leaves make everything worthwhile. Thanks Diane for sharing something so precious. I hope you save the chart forever.